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[Music] [Applause]

hey hey folks here we are we might be drunk we got a hot show we got Jim and

Nikki how the hell are you hey hi all right no is that lead into an intro or

you actually asking I’m asking oh sorry that was aw what two Duds we

are uh good I’m really good I love how you’re I love how you look thank you thank you you’re the one don’t unlike my

wife yeah no you’re the sweater is nice you’re just going to move into someone’s apartment and stay

there I’m here with Mrs dog yes Winnie this is Winnie Winnie she is so cute I

want to bring her home oh look here she’s getting angry right now oh I hope she bites you do you know how happy that

would make me she won she might she attacked AR shafir pretty badly did she really yeah she saw his act but I feel

like I’m an animal spirit I can talk to the animals oh really well yeah he came

moving along good yes I had to do a calling cow

calling all right you got mooing you have to explain it they got it it’s called King in Norwegian well he

likes to get milked you ever watch milking video porn

sure uh yeah on the massage table yes of course pretty hot with the the ladies under it with the if we had a threesome

he would be [ __ ] man but I’m not allowing I don’t think we should do a threesome yet no I don’t want know he

probably would want more trans girls I would like that at all right you’d want to be the only one strictly men oh okay

yes yeah but we’re not going to have a threesome um but I do like the milking wow look at those purple balls Jesus I

was looking at the tits but that’s oh right that’s yeah good point ah look at those big fat heavy

balls I didn’t know that I would wake up and be here and then watch balls yeah

all right I’m work to give the edit out of YouTube normal people here they don’t

you show them the same thing sure yeahp balls pull up he’s a pervert Yeah look

at him look at that mustache they know they’re to yeah that’s that’s a [ __ ] uh that’s a van in a front of a school

mustache I don’t just look like Ron Jeremy I live it yeah he’s going to jail for rape oh my God Ron’s not going to

jail he’s like uh no he was in he’s got dementia he’s so [ __ ] up he like

literally it’s not faking it they could they couldn’t he couldn’t stand trial what yeah yeah that’ be great if it ended like Primal Fear though and it

turned out he was it was just faked the whole thing yeah well she did sorry remember when he was at our show at the

cellar and he was passed out during the set yeah he liked comedy yeah he did Ron

Jer Ron comedy no going knew about him I learned about him when I was 12 good age

to find out about Jeremy the Hedgehog I think he did actually do comedy I didn’t know yeah at one point I think he looks

like he would yeah I think at one point he did stand up he did love comedy and he would always like he would always

like he would uh text me or he’s always asking for like money or asking for weird if she didn’t if he didn’t have a

big dick would he be big in porn you think no no novelty but he still had personality that’s true how many porn

stars do you know that are po personality driven he can’t get it up but man what

hilarious guy he’s Charming I think he’s Jewish yes he is okay he looks je if

this is bad I apologize what the champagne no bubbles in that thing it’s good very

good all right yeah no I don’t you’re dry yeah yeah yeah yeah how long uh

February 1st of ’87 wow that’s amazing yes and every person that I know through Jim who happens to be a comedian they

don’t drink they’re all in AA that’s true a lot very nice when I meet people

who don’t are not in AA yeah you fellow addicts then I can relax and enjoy life

yeah and life is a little addictionary if that makes sense you are supposed to take some risks yes here here sing it

sister yeah you guys did you guys meet during Co or or oh no no it was way

before that right cuz I remember like oh what do you got here is it bad

it’s an old Ms Apple Juice I love it yeah it’s all right no we met years

before Co we lived together in Co that’s right talking online and I was this site

um no she actually messaged me on Facebook because she saw me do an interview that she liked what I said about trans people and just sent me a

message no but I did webcaming yeah I found that out right after it’s good though you get to see like all right I

like this person um let me me watch them helicopter their dick and just see if we get

along I’m very proud to have done the type of work that I’ve done though at 18 the first day I turned 18 I sent in my

passport all my information and I’m feel very proud to have done webcaming yes

cuz it made my life and it created my life and I could be um uh on my own and

pay my own bills it’s got to be a good Moola yes webcaming I mean I’ve donated

quite a bit oh yeah me too that I put a lot of those girls through college so you got to see the webcam

after meeting no I mean after talking a little bit after talk yeah I mean long we we didn’t meet for 7 months um I

didn’t know that he was a comedian I didn’t really understand what that was so I just checked his Wikipedia and I’m

like oh well at least he’s got a Wikipedia so there’s got to be something here she’s the like it’s the worst be

Amed to her like as a comic cuz she never laughs at jokes it’s like always like answers like literally isn’t that

like a Norwegian thing yes the yeah they’re all on the Spectrum the whole she laughed at that yes but not a no I

like real jokes when I watch someone do material I convey it as for me for me

it’s not a real joke cuz I’m hearing the material through the ls so then I tap out got that’s why I like Sandy Kane

when she did comedy she’s like [ __ ] you man and she’s just in her spirit totally

do you know Sandy Kane no pull her up I mean o Anda I love Sandy yeah but if you

see Sandy Kane and you be like that’s my wife’s favorite comedian you’ll know why I’m in [ __ ] hell her standup is underrated though I agree she not she’s

she rated perfectly so I did the beacon and we tried to hire her to open why why yeah why didn’t she do it uh she said

the was too high no no um she uh

yeah where where could she have been that she couldn’t do a gig of that size she did a movie gym oh yeah the Florida

the Florida project oh I saw that movie she shows her tits in that was a good movie it was that was great yeah and she

[ __ ] I think we had William defen one time and he starred in that and we brought Sandy in and it was just very very uncomfortable why because like she

kept bugging them about like uh I think she know she wants to to do more work with them and he was like you know just

politely kind of [ __ ] brushing It Off did you hear that Willam defoe’s dick is so big yes they had to get a stunt

double for one of his movies cuz it would be distracting like there’s a guy whose job is to just be like yeah he’s

got a medium-sized yeah that’s comes in that’s where I come in the show but

that’s your claim to fame like you look like Willam defo but you have a small dick like I’ll never make this work it’s

like wow we need you for something well William defo you look at him his skin is so tight you can kind of tell he’s well

packing yeah cuz he looks like a dick like he’s like yeah he’s he looks like a penis like his whole body he’s meant to

be penis yes yes exactly you know who’s got a big [ __ ] uh defo I heard James

Woods oh really my wife

yeah but no James Woods has a legendarily proud to have a penis although I’m a woman I’m very proud to

have a penis it works and I love my body yes well I’ll be on the webcam later

thank you yeah I’ll send you a link send me a link please have you seen his material about you no You’ seen some of it well a little bit that’s great it’s

really funny thank you have you seen Jam penis what’s that have you seen James Woods p is that James Woods’s dick y let

me say I’ve yeah it’s it’s not a good sign when you say zoom in it’s not a good let’s see that’s it is is it just

hairy I don’t know I can’t see that’s soft it’s decent yeah see if I can get a better one I heard Harvey Kel is is all

right I heard Liam n sometimes the guy sometimes the guys are like ta is so tiny that you’re like he it might not

have to be that big to look you right right right Liam niss I’m not surprised but he’s a big imposing man 65 you

should have a [ __ ] dick need a big dick in your porn to be able to I prer it is it better if it’s a big [ __ ] yeah

it just it reads cuz I’m very [ __ ] driven so for me it’s all about the [ __ ] and it is better when there’s a huge

[ __ ] I like it better yeah my girlfriend actually [ __ ] Liam n one that’s

respectful I time ago she because I did [ __ ] Liam n and I was like um and I didn’t ask but uh it it sucks cuz now

when I watch Schindler’s List it’s even sadder like oh this [ __ ] prick yeah

right now you have to hate them dud she never dated them she just banged them no they went on like three or four oh they went out a couple of times there we go

so it’s more than once yeah she said just once oh really she made him wait okay I respect that I can’t see which

one is James Woods the on the left it’s on the right guy on the far left that’s I literally can’t see I can’t tell him

either this is not very impressive so far oh no um um yeah I think I can kind of see it

hanging there in the shadow see it grainy not bad it’s I think it’s a bad quality pick here it’s a bad quality

photo this is like we’re watching porn from 1980s this is old school very old school

this is VHS but anyway James was a big dick chaplain had a big dick I heard Charlie Chaplain did um who’s the

comedian with a bigest [ __ ] hands down I mean we all want to just say our own names like the dumb joke Milton br

had AIS yeah the famous joke was like his dicks on display at the Fri Club on the second third and fourth floor Street

joke about someone challenged him to a penis contest and he said I’ll just PL enough to win

yeah yeah that’s a legend they all knew Milton had a huge [ __ ] for me a [ __ ] has to be over 7 and 1/2 Ines if it’s not

over 7 and 1/2 I don’t care who you are or what you do or how wide it is it’s not a big deck so that’s bodess well for

you well yeah I just made the cut yes Jim has a bigger dick than people

would think I’ve seen it thank you you showed me when I met you yeah it’s a decent [ __ ] it’s a good [ __ ] thank you

Mark very much I app again you look like a penis I have been with bigger dicks than Jims though sure I mean that’s always how you want to clarify it that’s

always the best way we could have left it off just see of course you have to throw that in yeah yeah you the compliment but then like all kidding

aside like you know his is on the lower end of the spectrum yeah but wow who are

we talking Quinn Colin I want to know Colin has a thick juicy

[ __ ] you think so yeah because when he beards when he grows out his beard it

just kind of grows everywhere I just feel like his dick did the same through puberty you think he’s had a thick dick

well he’s got a big old Square nogget on him exactly I think he has a fat [ __ ] anyone else hard I don’t know if

Colin has a fat he never struck me as a guy with dick NE neither no he struck me as a guy with a thin Irish dick analyzed

it yeah but I think you’re wrong picture of him is awesome it’s the best that is my favorite picture of Somewhere in

Brooklyn on pills wow he looks like a hipster yeah oh yeah Park Slope yeah he was a young man then yeah let’s see yeah

Milton Burl Milton chaplain James Wood for comedians um who has a big dick as a

comic I know I’ve heard rumors about guys I’ve heard that Bert has a big dick crer Bert’s bulge is not bad he’s got

good yeah bur got a pretty good bold that’s true uh oh Rogan is huge he’s a big dick

sh another short guy though yes have you seen it or you’ve heard I’ve seen it he got out of the ice bath which is even

more impressive that I can still see the huge B that is fuckinge w i have been with a few short guys and they always have big decks yeah this is true but

again it could just look bigger because their little legs are closer to the ground I’m telling you this thing was a doozy it was thicker than his neck and

that’s a lot okay um all right well I can’t think of Kevin Hart but black guys

don’t really count Kevin Hart yeah just just cut that part out just have him

saying black guys don’t count yeah noty that’s the promo for the episode black guys don’t count all right Tuesday oh

this is a different podcast he is [ __ ] ripped oh yeah he’s what 60 55

it’s like Dana White who’s also a common billionaire they all have this billionaire look and I think there’s

three of them now it’s Matt Sarah no not a billionaire Dana White and then it’s

Joe Rogan and then it’s the Jeff basos oh yeah Matt s too all look like

billionaires that billionaire look I really missed my window to play Hunter Biden the way oh yeah the way Adam R is

doing uh Joe Dr Phil I could have cashed in on Hunter oh yeah I didn’t you still

probably could I mean everyone knows ship sail you think it sailed a little bit yeah you’re more of a gatherer

Biden so samarel as any Arabian in you I think I got a hint to Turkish and me but

you look a little Arab that’s like 12% I did I stupid did that 23 in me that’s a lot of percent though you what that’s a

lot of percent 12 yes it’s a significant what’s the rest lot of ashkanazi Jew a

lot of Eastern European Jew I want to do that what do you guys I’m guess I’m Irish boring I’m [ __ ] Irish my whole

family’s from the Deep Woods of Norway I think I’m 100% Norwegian that’s good

white my grandmother’s very interested in genealogy and I asked her do we at least have a little German and she’s

like no completely from Deep Woods of Norway the woods so probably some some Lumberjack I hope no incest yeah

inevitable there’s probably a little bit back there I hope not I would explain certain things yeah some Uncle blowing a

kid in the gingerbread house yeah you are to have blue eyes yeah yeah exactly yeah there’s probably

a little incense look this I heard there’s a dating app in Norway that stops you from [ __ ] a cousin because

there’s so much cousin [ __ ] Scandinavia serious yeah I swear to God there’s an app that like has a Blocker on I’ve

never heard about this are you actually serious I’m swear to God 23 and me and the dating app linked up let’s avoid

this one Terriers it’s icelanders oh sorry sorry which is very interesting

because I’ve had topic with so many people like I’m from Norway and I feel like I’m from a secluded country imagine

the icelandics 300,000 people Norway 5 million it’s huge difference forget

about it if I was an Icelandic person in the big world I would feel very small I do believe the incest yeah that’s not

that many people yes I mean who else are you going to [ __ ] I mean if I I would [ __ ] myself yeah what do they look like

cuz we all know Norwegians are tall blonde blueeye what the hell do Iceland very very white I was watching this uh I

was watching this uh Roman uh Empire dock on on Netflix and it was just about

Caligula [ __ ] his sisters oh yeah we just bang them all it’s like it’s if you’re going to [ __ ] one you may as well

[ __ ] all three of course I didn’t know he had three Drusilla is the one is the big one that was that was the one he

loved but but you know he had other ones I think she’s the only one he knocked up did he knock her up yeah [ __ ] kid

maybe cuz incest tends to lead to that yeah Helen mirin was in the original Caligula and she’s topless in it she’s

played as uh she look she’s look good she was very sexy yeah Helen mirin in the original Caligula no FES she does

but back then she was like in her 30s waa great cans mirin yeah yeah yeah

she’s got her cans were great for another 40 years or so yeah oh yeah she has amazing breasts Hai Mai I forget who

she played in Kil it was like uh Queen whatever whoever he finally married like

even back then you couldn’t [ __ ] your sister in the open oh is that right oh yeah I mean it was for even for Caligula

they were like just you know keep it under your hat what is Caligula was that Caligula was a a Roman Caesar uh I

believe it was after tiberious and before like dra Augustus or no not Augustus before uh

Claudius he ruled for four years I don’t understand understand yeah just four years he was four years yeah was

murdered yeah they were everyone all of them were murdered he but he was a no one grew old and tiberious got really

old and Di I think they say Kula killed him but he was in his 70s oh yeah and he was like just most of them died pretty

young yeah or like I mean Caesar made it even fairly old for like those type a

lot of battles at least who Julius yeah yeah A2 brute yeah yeah they were all

Caesars I mean Caligula Caesar uh Caesar but I think Claudius followed him and Claudius was kind of a dope like kind of

a controllable idiot whereas Caligula was a [ __ ] psychopath I think it was four years up until like 31 to 27 or 33

to 29 ad I think it it might be that give me those numbers again I want to see if you’re right 33 to 29 wow if you

get this it’s 12 oh I’m okay wow oh no 24 to 41 well how long did he oh no no

I’m sorry sorry 37 to 41 37 to 41 okay pretty good yeah well they say

gas Khan everyone’s like 2% gas Khan he raped so many people we all have a

little genas in US little Connie yeah he was a Marauder genas Khan was a conqueror and

you want to talk big dongs what was the name of that one guyong no no he’s in the uh the the museum his Dick’s in a

museum we went to that museum daring the giant penis what’s his name he’s a big Museum what is it rutin oh is he in the

Icelandic big dick CU it was that big and he he wanted to save it like Danny D we went to the

Icelandic big penis museum yeah we were in Iceland we went to the Bobby Fisher

Museum where is that that is probably his stick yeah yeah that’s the one I

don’t know where it’s like an elephant [ __ ] I know I don’t I don’t even believe it’s real I think it’s just like pulled

apart by the it’s at the Museum in St Petersburg Russia oh okay oh they don’t [ __ ] around yeah they probably

exaggerated do Russian dick look like an elephant [ __ ] yeah it does look like an elephant dick that doesn’t look normal

not a guy’s dick well they’re really pushing it I mean it’s on all the brochures and the pamplets and you know

what that picture still I love it I I love her yeah that’s hot I don’t like I don’t like the [ __ ] Paul Rodriguez

looking guy I like what is he what’s his [ __ ] doing he’s just got to goof it up a bit stop trying to be funny with the big [ __ ] in your

hand that’s two dicks looks like Jim every Saturday

what so married life I mean now that you’re married do do you not do as many sets you’re not going out I still see

with the cell I do more sets the more I’m out of the house the [ __ ] better yeah no I’m doing two sets a night and

I’m on the road I mean have a wonderful life with Jim Norton great great to be 27 and nonworking and making foods and

dinners and what do you make um Norwegian salmon I norian food but that

Norwegian what’s that thing I don’t like that you like it’s a delicacy what is it it’s like a fat bacon but like extra

extra thick and you put it on potatoes and cabbage stew it’s really good and then you pour

all the grease from the dish over I love it it’s delicious I’m in you wouldn’t but I feel like Jim’s a very manic

person so I get to enjoy not the single life but life of my own when he’s

working so much yeah yeah I love that yeah I like it too we like to get whatever I want I can get a credit card

I don’t need to work and I wouldn’t have a job and it’s fine that people look down at me for not

wanting to have a societal job sorry I don’t want that I’ve never wanted that I’ve been local about that since I was

16 and I’m never going to have a job and be a sheep of society won’t do it and if people are going to hate me for that

fine I don’t care I have a complete different experience than the average human being everybody everybody watching

this not to sound narcissistic but I’ve not had have a job and I’m very proud of

that my greatest accomplishments if you’re doing half the house stuff I feel like that’s fair somebody brings in the

money somebody she does all the house stuff I really do the house stuff I do the laundry I wake up I do the bed I do

the dinners this is not just me being on my computer and kind of doing dinner I put my heart and soul all cool yeah she

does the wife stuff I mean it’s tread wife yeah kind of yeah TR wife there you

go how do you how do you feel about the kiss posters no I don’t like those but I know that it’s just a matter of time oh

no until I die and she can [ __ ] throw them out I guarantee you if I had a stroke as the ambulance was pulling up

I’d hear i’ hear [ __ ] getting pulled off the W sometimes you have to put all of life’s blessing in a jar and then just

let the blessings in the jar tip over once you feel free I see I don’t know what that means no just you gather a lot

of the experiences and wait for the jar to tip over and then you can just love it all right yeah well that’s kind of

what I’m doing with my post it’s it’s a weird it’s a weird like hoarding Obsession it doesn’t mean anything thing I bought I I’m getting sick of it

actually I don’t hate the posters though it’s a good addiction to have could be worse tranding hookers yeah yeah one’s

enough well you got some cool stuff on your walls I mean I’ve been in your apartment a few times just the photos you have the signatures you have it’s

pretty impressive thank you yeah it’s like just again being single all those years and just like that was the thing I focused on was getting these things may

I use the restro you had to pee go ahead we have a have a small bladder sure if

you want to use it all right uh yeah you got some great stuff you got yes and I

still I I love it she hates it like I know that she hates it but it’s like it is what it is you get the bedroom and I

get the rest of the apartment yeah I can you know I I’ll put what I want on the walls and you can [ __ ] load the bedroom and we’ll get the furniture that

you want but you got it you figured out how to have a traditional thing but not traditional right exactly it’s pretty pretty good it’s actually the only

person I could be married to is her as much as it seems a little bit weird like she really is the only person I could have married

because she has a sense of humor about all of it and she has actually seen the material and she’s never like oh don’t

say that don’t talk about that like not you could tell but L there’s nothing I can say that would upset her on stage

she doesn’t give a [ __ ] I love that’s my biggest turn off with a lady I can’t even be with a woman who gets offended by jokes or like squeamish or like uh

and and a dick would turn me off I understand that that’s it’s a tough cell for a lot of guys sure sure I mean for

me it was like literally the first thing I saw when I walked through the showroom door but for a lot of guys it’s a tough like got to [ __ ] I’m like all right well

it’s not for you but like somebody who’s funny can and bounce back and forth with that’s great I dated somebody and I was

on stage one time and I’m in hitting on a woman in the audience but not really hitting on her just [ __ ] doing what

you do and she got really angry at me and I’m like I don’t mean it like that wasn’t real it’s a joke yeah I mean I

did eventually get caught cheating on her so she was she was right it was a piece of [ __ ] but the fact that she got mad at me for joking like I just I I

can’t I could never married somebody who would get upset at me for [ __ ] around like that right right it’s silly how do

you like being married well it’s only a year and a half and uh the good news is it didn’t change that much actually when

we got married I was terrified as any ComEd is but it she got calmer she was like all right now that we’re married I

can chill out a little bit so it made it a lot a lot smoother do you guys want kids yeah wow you do too oh yeah ah Sam

uh yeah we’ll see okay but as a person you’d like to have them I think eventually it’d be nice yeah I’m

fascinated with that I I mean there’s nothing I want less than a child well here’s the thing i’ I’ve I know what you

mean but my friend had kids and he’s like you don’t get the full World Experience full life experience without

a kid and I think when I’m 70 it’d be nice to hang out with some

[ __ ] idiot he might be right like there there’s probably something I’m missing by not doing it um but she wants

to adopt and I’m like [ __ ] you would never do that I I I would literally have

the [ __ ] I’d rather incubate Hornets under my toilet seat than adopt a [ __ ] child what would it take for you to adopt a kid like there’s no way no

there’s there’s nothing on or we’re talking about uh how you want kids and I don’t um want adopt yeah you should

compromise and adopt like a 17-year-old you get one year and you’re done no like a 12-year-old oh girl from China cuz I

want do diapers well that’s too tempting for a gym you’re going to do diapers probably

another 20 years you when you were old yes yes how about how about you start with like a

dog and then you feel it out and you’re like we could we could I put a a Korean kid and I’m going to get that dog now in

two weeks it’s going to be the same size as this one is Winnie yes it’s going to be a toy poodle it’s going to be

adorable I would want a St Bernard but Jim doesn’t want dogs that I don’t want something that shits I just don’t need

it like a little dog I’ve agreed I don’t even want a dog but I’m agreed to a small toy poodle the thing is I’m already you with a poodle is [ __ ]

amazing it’s like yeah how gay do we have to look walking through theu pretty [ __ ] so if I’m going to get a small dog

dog it’s going to make me even more them and [ __ ] so if I had a huge dog like

you have different interests here yeah no one would [ __ ] with me no I know but the problem with a big you can’t get

insurance on these these giant like Doberman or [ __ ] Rott wild you can’t insure them in but if I walk in New York

with a toy poodle in Spanish Harlem no one’s going to yeah we we live in in in [ __ ] grammar seat you’re not going to

go to Spanish Harlem to walk go for a walk the Spanish ar that’s I’ve never

been yeah well then walk south like go on First Avenue and walk the other way don’t go to Spanish Harlem well I’ll be

walking New York and I was planning for it to be a big dog all right all right I’ll get a small dog well don’t go to

Chinatown either all right Chinatown is bad no but yeah uh no I would not do I

would do a small dog I’ve agreed to that I’ve kind of like yeah I’m going want that dog in a week you you complain and

and bug me by the dog and I’m like I kind of agreed I’ll get a [ __ ] dog I’ll do it my lady wanted a cat I was against it we have a cat I love the cat

you love it right I love the cat we were going to get a naked cat oh a hairless yeah but then I learned you have to put

them in the sink like once or twice a week because they become like a ball sack and oil up and you have to wash and

shower them continuously and I don’t we don’t need three ball sacks in house yeah yeah

third strum in the house is not acceptable so yeah a small poodle will be kind of nice and you can get those

things like you open uh it’s like a thing of grass you can get it’s like this big this big and you can get them

every couple of weeks you think it’s weird that I have balls like the fact that I’m sitting here and I know it’s in 2024 I do get that is everyone like over

it the fact that I’m in a skirt and balls yeah we’re right it’s not like oh

my God she’s sitting here with a penis everyone’s done with that I haven’t seen your balls yet so I think I think if they Dro that I’d be like oh no but you

still probably feel that the room has balls like a character with balls have entered yeah I didn’t think about the

balls that’s true I think about the D yeah never thought the balls how do you package all that in the uh panties no I

don’t tuck my dick I just pull back oh you pull you put the panty and cuz I

always wear panties and then you just kind of pull the panty back instead of having like I would never do tape

tucking they put tape they put baby powder I I mean I’m I’m not going to do a whole ordeal just to I’d rather have

kind of a bulge than kind of not a bulge and tape and terrible Gorilla Glue

yeah they do weird [ __ ] people do weird [ __ ] yeah they tape those dicks back it just it’s I asked one girl how do you

fly and she’s like it’s uncomfortable she sits on her dick crazy do you think that I’m less of

a trans person if I want to keep my balls and deck or does that make me just as trans from a man’s perspective I

think it’s just a different sect of trans some people like having no dick some people want the dick still I so

it’s different flavor it’s like when you order animal style in and out you know yeah mix it up you mix it up yeah yeah

but I don’t think it matters no you know if you want to get rid of it get rid of it good I’d miss you good burgers yeah

do you do you prefer the whole package 100% okay oh 100 yeah that’s part of what attracted you to to her well it was

it was not just like it’s one of those things where it’s like yeah sex is important but like I have fun with Nikki

like you know I mean it’s a whole personality thing and she the whole thing in the mouth bosss included I mean

we don’t need stuffy sounds um this adopted kid’s going to be [ __ ]

yeah I know literally but just the conversations at

the dinner table over the Bacon fat but it’s interesting because we are at a point in the world now where it doesn’t matter that much no I look like what I

look like and being in America it’s great to be trans no one cares do you like being in America you hear that I love being in America hell yeah the most

blessing Freedom country to be transgendered to for me thank you tell Twitter will you true and it’s one it’s

also so it’s funny that all of these trans activists are doing rallies and

with the megaphone here in America when I where I feel the most liberated and I come from Norway I know that Norway is

the best country in the world no one else has to tell me anything no but it really is but being Trans in America is

much better hey all right Norway is nice but their [ __ ] airport is from 1951 country in the world you can’t even go

through the airport without almost losing all your makeup because they don’t have new machines well they have our uh x-ray machines from 2003 well

they missed the dick maybe they do miss the dick all right so that’s good think although they don’t always miss it they

that that’s a true story when they stop and frisker going through the X-ray machine uh now that you have TSA

pre-check a lot of times that doesn’t happen because they put you through the other machine but when you were going

through the regular machine they would actually stop her because they would see it on would always have to forcefully feel my deck but I didn’t mind I just

said it’s okay I and I tell them I’m transgender yeah what did they say usually just we have to swap you

something like they point at my crotch on the X-ray cuz it’s red so they point

at it and I’m like I’m transgender it’s why it’s there’s a penis yeah and what

do they do wo they just um well one woman actually she was like down on her

knees and then it turns out to be red and she’s like what’s this as she’s on her knees and I’m like oh um uh I have a

penis some transgender and she just like became really weird oh and she goes

right up from her knce and she’s like hold on I’m going to get you someone else and then you orgasm you’re like you have liquid no my heart go through my

heart just sank and I was like oh no I hope she didn’t think that I was fantasizing about getting my dick sucked

when she’s on the floor I was thinking about she probably yeah she probably didn’t go that far no but I panicked I

I’m like oh my God I hope it didn’t seem like that I have a dick yeah how feel world to be honest that I

have a deck into it yes it’s kind of like a mob feeling it feels more like you happen to have a deck yes it makes

me feel higher then and you kind of get the best of both worlds cuz you’re an attractive blonde with a big hog you

kind of got big dick energy and you get the feminine treatment thank you I feel

like most of my followers have looked at me as a viking Queen and Valkyrie with a penis there you go like like uh Odin but

I couldn’t have I couldn’t married somebody who else that didn’t speak English well just because the communication is important like I forget

sometimes that it’s her second language like we’ll argue about something and she’ll be like not grabbing a word I’m like oh [ __ ] like I keep forgetting that

English is not but it’s my English wonderful to have learned English very good I learned it online really yeah yes

I knew great English before I’m at gy how did you learn it I played video games no and you were talking to people

on on wow that’s oh the insults you [ __ ] trainny many insults okay do they know though or you don’t

tell them if I’m a [ __ ] yeah like when you’re playing when you’re doing video games well usually they would know so

you say that word is it like the N word where you guys are allowed to say no I exactly and I love that word I love the

[ __ ] word do you get offended if other people say no not at all no but I really don’t I really don’t I think it’s a

great word I love the [ __ ] word I’m here it’s a transexual trans I just it

doesn’t feel the same yeah sometimes they’ll say I’m a [ __ ] sometimes they’ll see I’m trans it doesn’t really matter to me yeah I grew up with my

nanny was a transvesti which is what we called it in the ’90s I’ve gotten a lot of push back well there’s a difference

though the the transvestites are real people they are exactly but they’re like you don’t say that word anymore I’m like well what do you call them what if what

if it’s a guy who just dressed like a woman that is a transvesti who doesn’t live as a woman who doesn’t take hormone that’s a transvestite thank you or CD

and I’ve also seen very many cases now of people who have gone through the whole surgery and building transgender people for their whole lives but are now

that I know coming back to being a boy again oh so it’s like is this a mental thing is this a diagnosis is this

something that should be evaluated by how do they come back D transition and change the gender

now to go back from a boy but they have the vagina so now it’s like a tunnel and they’re still doing the transitioning

now to go back oh no but with the wound from the sexual one tunnel Jew don’t

want to live yeah so that’s just why I feel like

trans people should be okay with being called trans [ __ ] transgender for me I

don’t have a problem with it yeah yeah biger fish to fry yeah I don’t care I

mean look it’s one of those things where like the if it’s if it’s going to get

you a lot of [ __ ] is am I saying something that I care about like where that word actually matters then I’ll say it but it’s like it’s like the N word

it’s almost like unless I’m making a point that is so strong that requires that where it’s not worth the [ __ ]

you good like the N word because I do do feel it’s not the same but like it is my own word tryy in way there you go yeah

but I I don’t you know it doesn’t offend me I don’t care do you feel like the media is suppressing some of the

detransitioning stuff you know that’s a good question I feel like they’re praising them more

than normal transgender people honest yeah I can see that are they suppressing detransitioning horror stories yes

probably because it doesn’t go crazy though like I feel like if you do Transition they make them look really

nuts but maybe it is I do think that being transgender is a mental thing and when I lived in Norway you couldn’t just

get hormones if there’s a one-year test where you have to live as female or

opposite for a whole year and if you don’t succeed that the state’s not going to give you hormones it’s not like that

in in the United States I don’t know if they’re suppressing I don’t know if they’re supressing be like that I don’t

know if they’re suppressing but I don’t read that many detransition stor but I know there are they’re out there people who do so maybe they do that’s going to

be brutal yeah oh I’m never getting the surgery just because it’s like a wound and you have to treat it as a wound you

have to put up the dilator and the [ __ ] every single day and he you don’t want that no you don’t want a fake what would

you do if I got a [ __ ] you would leave miss you no I mean look I I would still love

you no matter what you did like that like it’s one of those things where you still love the person but I mean uh I a

situation where like whatever I do the topic trans is always going to come up but that’s just what it is I’m fine with

that no but sometimes you do mention it like we were just sitting here talking about dogs and you went do you mind if I have

balls no but a lot of people should take it up that way my balls the balls just

makes it all very yeah it’s lighthearted and fun yeah but dogs don’t get to choose that they lose their balls you

know that is a good point good point but they have to or they [ __ ] up the whole house they [ __ ] up everything and just is a woman think out this dog is that I

I want a male dog because female dogs have periods right and they bleed all over don’t think it’s they’re [ __ ] all kinds of surgery I don’t want a male

dog but our dog is going to be a transgender it’s going to be a male but it’s going to have a a gross name oh

there you go so it’s humiliating keep the balls yes no we got to get rid of the balls she her

pronoun we got to get rid of the balls um but I do want to do it like I’m I’m not getting rid of the balls yes you are

I’m not going to have the dog in heat all the time and [ __ ] I don’t want that that’s true there and they’re

aggressive right if they have still have balls yeah yeah we took the cats out you did oh yeah yeah you’re supposed to

someone in beastiality wouldn’t say that no but we’re not take take the balls off we’re not filming a [ __ ] porno just

we we have dog that we love but I am actually looking forward to getting it I had said no for years but I’m like I

want it Pete is calling in right now they’re upset no they probably want you to get the balls taken off yeah probably

they do they’ll like always spay and neuter and get the [ __ ] get the nuts taken off easy Bob Barker yeah I know that was his whole thing I really was

his whole thing yeah yeah that was a weird little thing he had at the end he’s like grabbing the the ladies on the ass he’s

got the big wheel and he’s like by the way cut your dog’s dick off yeah pull that up yeah I miss Bob Barker his name

was Barker yeah which I never put together I never did until you just said it either sometimes the name is really

yeah it’s like Anthony Weiner it’s all in the name yeah Bernie maid off yeah Bernie maid off I never thought that

come on never there it is yep Bernie made off I

never caught that come on does Drew Carrey keep it going does he say that oh good question probably not no he’s like

let your dogs [ __ ] he hated Bob Barker he was he must have been a punon

Hound Bob Barker oh yeah he must have been [ __ ] those he was [ __ ] one of them they sued too one of the models I

think sued cuz Bob he was a game show host of The Price is Right it was [ __ ] one of them um and and she’s

like she felt pressured into it or something yep I remember that I don’t know what happened actually with the uh lawsuit how about Richard Dawson he

would smooch the sh out kiss everyone hello love yes hello love then he blew

his brains out no that was Ray Holmes oh sorry sorry yeah Richard Dawson died but he rake Holmes killed himself hung

himself by the way oh he h he h himself shot himself I’m almost positive he hung himself might incorrect about that

Matthew I might be wrong yeah himself okay no I think he bashed his head into a wall no way I understand the feeling

being married but wow um did he hang himself or no

death yeah that’s good good question let’s see Glend I thought it was a hanging I could be wrong 40 years

is not very old no he was young guy his son was a comic yeah he was I met him he was a nice guy oh hung oh I’m just

thinking to your wife wait a minute what do you got here

I’m almost there hold on yeah that’s a weird um curse to Family Feud like Louis Anderson had that [ __ ] up thing you

hear about that what he was a he’s dead now yeah say he’s a closeted gay yes and

he would was he closeted sorry was Hey cuz he was on like cartoons and family

stuff okay I thought everybody knew but so then he was he was hooking up with this guy in Vegas and then the Vegas guy

was just some kind of jiggo you know Drifter guy and he would blow him in his van every night after a show and then

the guy was like wait you’re on TV you got to give me 10 grand or I’m going to tell the media and he’s like oh okay

here’s 10 grand two months later you know what give me another 10 grand I’m telling the media after like $4 million

he eventually was like just tell him and he told the media what a piece of [ __ ] what a [ __ ] piece of [ __ ] piece of

garbage you got but you got to if somebody wants to out you like that you just got to the first time go first of

all you one person tried that with me with it was just dirty talking and they were like your fantasies I’m like there

everyone knows I’m like I don’t give a [ __ ] this is years I was single I’m like go ahead tell people and you’ve just threatened to Blackmail me you dumb [ __ ]

like people are so stupid like if somebody who was this person oh it was just the person I I knew I mean somebody

I knew very briefly Judy Gold I used to jump up and grab her vag

and she’s like I’m going to tell everybody that you like [ __ ]

too that’s crazy that someone said they were going to out you to the meet I mean years ago but it was somebody who

probably didn’t even know as a comet like you I mean they they are the first mainstream person I would say to marry a

transgender I would say so too I would literally say so I’ve looked up people in the bus who’s married a transexual

yeah there’s no it’s got to be someone else it’s Jim Norton you’re the Jackie Robinson of

trans so I looked up R Holmes we’re both right on June 1st 1996 he was

hospitalized for banging his head against the wall the next day June 6 June 2nd 1996 he hung himself in that

hospital with bed sheets I wonder what was so wrong that he like was he just me like was he mentally ill or was there

something going on depression depression yeah po something was he getting fired from the show let’s see I’d love to ask

you son that like not to mention a painful thing but like like what drove him to do that yeah like to look up the

reason for suicide money is sometimes like he said two years earlier he was in a severe car accident where he had there

it is physical pain and head and I bet you you also get hooked on something toos yes plus depression how many kids

do he have how many kids yeah let’s see uh after a lot of times after injuries people get hooked on oxy cotton or

whatever the [ __ ] it is children six six kids Family Feud all that Family Feud money going right out the window they

could have they could have had two different teams he had so many [ __ ] kids he was 40 years old yeah 40 young

guy a lot of kids for 40 yeah guy was working that’s a lot of [ __ ] good for him what we just

talking about before Ray Holmes we were just chatting Barker no no no Mark was uh oh yeah the Jackie Robinson no before

that no hold on I’m going to get it hold on dog balls Peter salaku anything we

nothing N I don’t remember rmes before Rayes oh Lou Anderson yes blackmail yeah

but it wasn’t even blackmail it was just somebody somebody one time I think they probably drunk said like it was very brief yeah and it went away quickly did

he ever come out before I don’t think he did and I loved Lou Anderson he gave me my first uh what my first real TV spot

which was the Louis Anderson show what in 1997 that’s why I met dice it changed my life I was out there doing a seven

minute clean set nice man he was a wonderful guy and uh I was doing the Louis Anderson show and his opener was

dice’s opener so she introduced me to Andrew and he took me clo like Furniture shopping and whatever my anyway being on

Louis Anderson show changed my the course of my career and my life and I’m at op and Anthony eventually yeah so I love love love Lou Anderson Louis

Anderson no no no no but he was just a sweet no one didn’t like him and the fact that someone was blackmailing poor

Lou Anderson did he really lose four mil out of this I mean I might have it was 2 m something like that Charlie Sheen I

think lost a lot of money because he had said that somebody blackmailed for Millions cuz he had HIV um and he never really came back to

world after that he did a little bit but not much I think he had the series maybe that was done by them but he’s always

been kind of like in the gray zone now right did he ever do uh the show with

you or no Charlie yeah no I’ve never met Charlie um I’ve met Charlie Sheen is one of those last individuals who are very

real yes I partied yes I did drugs and what yeah porn St Martin Sheen his

father is the nicest celebrity I’ve ever met like uh Emilio Estes came in with him one time not to to me but to sirius

and my manager knows Emilio very well soil introduced me to his father and he’s I’ve never met a warmer famous

person than Martin Sheen and you know he’s a nice guy cuz he’s the guy who was always hugging trees like long before it was [ __ ] fashionable in Hollywood

Martin was doing yeah yeah he’s the father and he was doing it long before any of these other people in Hollywood

had like causes it was Martin Sheen what a [ __ ] F guy he is and most of these

hookers that did [ __ ] Charlie Sheen is very proud of that to this day yeah he’s a cool dude of course yeah blood yeah

you can’t you can’t be afraid of it you just got to say yeah it happened I did it so what oh yeah poor Louis I didn’t know heal Trump and Stormy Daniels right

yeah I wish he would have just said that he [ __ ] her cuz then would have just no I didn’t no I didn’t if he just said

yes I [ __ ] her I would have been like he couldn’t say that though because his wife was pregnant at the time you there one once in a while you can’t admit it

and Milani was pregnant so there’s no way for him to go like yeah it happened I still wish he went I [ __ ] Stormy

Daniels and what came out anyway yeah his wife would have looked really bad and that’s probably why he kept denying

I didn’t do it do you guys think that Trump is going to win probably but prob you know who know I think yes yeah the

swing States who the [ __ ] know I’m not good with any think most likely he will yeah he might he’s up by three right now

I think it’s like when John remember when John Edwards got a lot of [ __ ] for he his wife wasn’t pregnant she was dying of cancer he was fu woman yeah

there’s certain times you got to say I didn’t do it I guess yeah did he deny it or did he say he did it I think he denied it at first and then it was like

I think they always deny it at first just wait a week she’ll be dead yeah come on crazy I think he probably was

waiting he was like what’s taking her what the [ __ ] she’s responding well to therapy all right I’m going to go [ __ ] the babysitter but but you know no I

think I think if your advice is always to deny it first manam you have to it first you have to I don’t respect anyone

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today I me I don’t know I don’t think doesn’t look gay look at those eyes

D Paulo I’ll just say I do not think he’s gay friendly no no no look at that

guy not at all yeah does he look like he supports gays I don’t think so but a lot of those guys who are so anti-gay are

just literally look look like they’re dying for I just don’t want anyone’s religion to govern upon me religion

should be out of the politics about Budd he looks like he hates gays and I don’t care what anyone says I feel it I feel

his anti type in JD van gay gay

look um yeah Buddha I don’t know if I like him though like he’s gay but I I

don’t know if he’s a good Transportation secetary well that’s true that’s true and Trump 10 years ago had a Miss

Universe contest where a transperson won the contest and like the jury was trying

to get the trans person off the board and Donald Trump goes no she’s she’s a winner whoa when that happened and when

he said that I personally as person to person I go you know what I would vote

for Trump any day any other day and I’m not a trump Trump trump supporter I’m just saying when he said that I was like

oh what a great thing to say can we see the trans winner I know you got eight tabs open

that are going to ruin your life later no it’s amazing it’s wonderful what do you want when Donald Trump said that

there was a Miss Miss Universe and a trans uh woman won the contest Miss

Universe I hope you get this wrong and he actually just threw her out no it’s 100 and and then look up thre into the park

man you’re a man always been a man oh yeah she’s hot both of them are hot

Universe transgender Trump which one is she okay trans that is the question is she on the the right or left yes she won

no she won the whole and he overruled it he allowed it he allowed it he allowed

it what’s her Talent peeing in the snow he overrules rejection of transgender beauty queen I remember her but this is

again 12 years ago 12 2012 2012 he would govern but he would govern like a person

who’s anti-trans even though personally I don’t think he gives a [ __ ] I’m just saying when he said that with his own voice I was just like okay he’s not he

doesn’t hate gay people I don’t think he cares well just by doing that he did more for LGBT than Biden dead I think

he’s against the blockers though yeah when you’re kids kids yeah which is understandable for kids yeah I only

believe in puberty blockers for kids if you don’t tell them you’re doing it just as a as a fun experiment

BT party they want 13 and 14 year olds to be able to do SRS with their parents

um signature SRS sexual reassignment surg sexual reassignment surgery how crazy is that wow but what yeah how do

you feel like what age should that type of stuff no I think you need a diagnoses in place first and foremost and who

diagnoses this like what kind of doctor it would have to be a doctor like in Norway you go to the National Security

like the national hospital and you go there and they have three people they have a psychologist they have an

endocrinologist and then they have a psychologist and all talk psychologist twice two psych therapist psychologist

endocrinologist and they all do interviews with you I think it should be like that in the states too because of

course being trans is a mental thing I don’t wake up every day and feel completely normal if depression is a

mental illness how is transgender not of course it is of course it is and I’m

very fine with that yeah well hey welcome to Comedy you’re we’re all mentally ill and I think we should

embrace that here here not trying to to be pure who’s that so on the right here is the Miss Universe transom woman and

on the left is Donald Trump’s daughter wow yes my daughter is going to win yeah

type woman he likes though that’s the girl on the right that won that’s what it says yes I think um is she Asian okay

yeah yeah I wouldn’t say she was not winner she was pretty for 10 years ago I’m looking at her though she’s okay all

sound like a [ __ ] for saying that but she was very like judging a white guy in the NBA in the 60s like back then it was good

beautiful back that no I don’t mean to like that I’m so sorry Mark do you have a new joke about

that what about Trans in the 80s oh it’s an old joke but I just say

uh trans women look amazing now they’re so hot it’s like a video game you’re like that looks great but in the 990s

the graphics were rough yeah it’s basically Miss Pac-Man yes Jim would know and he would analyze from his niece

yeah working the joystick yeah there you go yep yeah I was old school I was I was

in on it long before it became popular yeah yeah how do you feel about that I feel like a lot of people will kind of

like try to speak for you but you actually this is the life you actually live does it annoy you n like you I mean

nobody [ __ ] with me about it people know that I don’t care if they like it or not so I think when people know that you don’t care if they like it there’s

nothing for them to push against CU I’m not trying to force my life on people good point like you we live our life we

put videos out but none of it is this boring messaging that people are doing we just want people to watch and if you

enjoy us then watch more of it if you don’t don’t but we’re we’re not trying to teach any [ __ ] lessons like da the

person you want that’s the only lesson I would say is marry the person that you actually love and if they’re trans this

is what it looks like it’s like any other marriage I I think there needs to be a sitcom for this like I think you need to make a sitcom about this cuz I

see the videos and they’re funny and I think everyone’s pushing this thing like

you know we need a new type of show well this story’s never been told before TV they don’t the thing about us that’s

unappealing to people is that we’re not messaging like you know what I mean like you look at people in our business that do really well they’re always going out

there going this is how you have to feel and but we’re not doing that we’re just kind of we don’t that’s what I like to

me that’s way more refreshing I think that’s how most people respond but again our business is a very weird mentality

yes uh but no I won’t I I I think eventually we’ll wind up doing something you got to do it and do it on your own

because the suits will come in and go hey we need to say this more and push that more and that’s what’s going to ruin it yeah I mean I I don’t I love our

interaction the way she jokes about her dick like I I I would never want that not to be a part of our yeah the balls

comment at a dinner with parents and stuff that’s gold it’s like you don’t want people afraid to talk around you

like around her nobody’s afraid to say something I might say something wrong she doesn’t give a [ __ ] like that’s that’s how it should be when you yes

here here so yeah we’ll do something eventually when as soon as somebody is interested you’re a sweet man thanks so

Jim if it’s not disrespectful in front of your wife can you tell us about the meat packing District in the 90s the meat packing District in the 90s not

disrespectful at all um that was uh which is now this [ __ ] all this influx of money ruined it I know oh it

used to be so great you’d ride around at 2:00 in the morning and all the [ __ ] trans girls were out there it was fun it

was hi Dad waving dicks everybody Wass and dicks that’s great I’ve told the story many times but it’s where I got my

[ __ ] glasses taken oh yeah yeah I got my [ __ ] glasses snatch for because I wouldn’t pick the one girl up and I had

to pretend that I didn’t know she was trans you know cuz the cop pulled me over goes you know that’s a [ __ ] guy

I’m like all then my glasses my glasses and the cop got my glasses back for me yeah it’s humiliated covered in jizz I

had no idea I thought it was strudel I’m half blind for Pete’s sake so what is it what

is a hor go for back in the in the was it the ’90s back in the uh the early the 90s I you up to

2015 when did I meet you two days before I met I st I didn’t know they were still going

back then no they weren’t it start want to say it stopped in the mid 2000s because I stopped actually going out

when I started doing like a real Radio Show in the morning so the early 2000s I would ride around all night listen to

Joe Bingo and [ __ ] uh and just look at trans girls and [ __ ] you know the radio show was off the air we get fired

um so I would say back then between 20 and 50 or 80 it depend on who you were seeing cheap yeah I me that’s that’s

what it cost back in those days and I would just see like one or two regular people that I knew you know okay and

then you get you blow them or they blow you or how’s that work whatever you were for in the mood for in the moment you always had to be careful of diseases and

[ __ ] like that so you know were you ever nervous about that sure after um you know you know when you’re nervous about

that when the [ __ ] car windows rolled out and you’re spitting out of it and trying to [ __ ] gargle with lavoris

hope hope alcohol kills AIDS yeah because I would never marry

Jim if he had AIDS or HIV yeah yeah there’s been you always say the sweet [ __ ] that’s why that’s why I love you

save it for the vows but there are people who I have there’s more people that even have HIV than I think people

know about yeah but I have to be honest and not to make people with HIV sad if someone

wants to have sex with me and tells me they have HIV it’s I’m sorry we’re not we’re not going to have sex funny the

thing that wouldn’t stop is not being married would stop her it’s like if they but but if they had age out of respect for my husband I wouldn’t do it I like

that she said that like that separates her from the rest of the group here like I’m like you know what I’m down [ __ ] age I’m down to get some age heard that

before and she does say like you do say it like it’s this amazing crazy thing like guys if you had HIV I wouldn’t

[ __ ] eventually that won’t matter I mean now you can kind of handle it with medication I have never had an STD oh

really must be nice yeah no chyia no n no none quick quick ones to get rid of

wow well done yeah I was with a sexual partner once who had chyia but then he only lied my balls yeah and I didn’t get

it that’s beautiful that’s awesome oh yeah while I jerked off yeah it’s all it’s it’s crazy how many Hallmark card

Things She Said in love have chyia and I’m like okay and I start to like you know throw

things around in my head and I’m like okay lick my balls yeah that’s the see the stud the you don’t have a tear falling down you’re not you’re not a

person W this is all a going on Lifetime yeah it sure is maybe that’s why they don’t want to give us a show what we

talk about how about a little mess so I did know that in the moment maybe there could have been a little lick that would have flown this way and maybe I would

have gotten chyia but I took a chance and I didn’t well the ball skin is very

tough yeah ball skin is very very is it really yeah oh yeah it’s like elephant

skin yeah you can [ __ ] pull it remember you do that’s how you scratch Anthony kumia pointed that out and I

never forgot the genius of him pointing out the pinch and roll when you have to itch your balls pinch and roll the pinch

and roll when you it your balls that’s an Anthony uh what does that mean when you scratch it you don’t you don’t see

itch with your fingernails and your balls you kind of pinch and roll it a little bit like is thing that we sniff

our balls I do this too I do it it’s such a fascinating scent it’s a

different scent it is but that’s like if there’s a list of things someone doesn’t want to hear their wife say that would

be that’s probably number one but you know I bet if a guy was

knocked out you know they have smelling salt I bet if I had a jog day and I would did a little taint would wake that

dude I did I did the smelling salts for the first time did you’s Club it did he has them yeah I I did I was in The Green

Room and uh I was kind of the the coffee machine wasn’t working and they were like dude this smelling salts and I was

like yeah and I’m kind of picking everyone’s brain I do it and everyone’s kind of like yeah just do it I I didn’t

realize you I supposed to put it like right here it burns dude I was [ __ ] dying and I had I literally felt like

the biggest [ __ ] cuz Rogan I was like am I having an allergic reaction he’s like no you’re fine you’re fine how long

did that last too long like a few minutes okay and did it make you more alert for the set I mean yeah the next

couple hours I was rocking but for a good 10 minutes I was like just tears just dripping out you should hold it

here and just take a little sniff right did it change you though wavelength wise in your brain I don’t

know he can’t come without smelling under his nose I I didn’t like it man I

I I was like f i when we we did The Bert fully loaded thing and the ice bath I was like that I [ __ ] like I like yeah

that was cool did it make you feel like awake or like did it heal yeah yeah yeah but this shit’s ice the the smelling

salts [ __ ] how long did you do it for ice I I’d do like a minute all that’s

not bad impressive what well Bert was doing like three three minutes is pretty much the standard we would did there was

this place in Norway we went to where they have the ice the plunge and I we could each do it for like 10 seconds I

can’t do it anymore it’s freezing I mean it’s freezing I go in for a minute but you feel awesome after it uh yeah you

feel good that you did how long would you say minute wow that’s not true she just lied she doesn’t do it for

a minute she does it for as long as I do which is about 10 seconds that’s what I can do 30 seconds you did it longer than me but not by much but the ice bass is

the closest you you come to losing a dick it’s gone yeah I mean her shrivels

down to six I I I don’t think I could sit there

if they were sponsoring me I probably could but like Joe will sit there for 3 minutes they sponsored yeah of course if they wanted to pay us on the podcast uh

like sure be delighted to sit there for 3 minutes and then just cut it real quick they’re so [ __ ] cool though apparently the uh health benefits are

great unless you have a heart attack that’s true makes you feel Russian doing it there you go there’s also cryotherapy

which everyone was high on for a while and everybody kind of stopped talking about cryotherapy oh what’s that my wife does that she cries for

hours I’ll tell you she’s all right I tell you what is that

cryotherapy they’re doing like IV bars and stuff now where you can go in and just get like a fast that’s a great idea

IV injection do that stuff sometimes like does work if I’m like if I’m like just

kicking a cold it’ll get or or I’m starting to get one I’ll yeah Vitamin B or C or what do you use just like an

immune boost save like a thing yeah vitamin B vitamin C who do you call for that doctor or a nurse comes over I got a person whose number and you do the IV

right yeah I love that everyone very rarely but if I’m if I have big [ __ ] do

a gig and I’m like I’m hurting wow and also thing I’m noticed you Americans do is that you started to snooze yeah which

is so weird for me to watch asy Norwegian because no one knew about this

other than the Scandinavians um snoo what’s the brand called z z z and it’s

so popular now and everyone did that in Norway since I was oh really 5 years old

so I’m just it’s just nicotine it’s not tobacco yes but it’s very interesting is it nicotine I think nicotine this is

Scandinavian this is what we’re baseball players they all had like [ __ ] cancer in their mouth of course

that’s disg very Scandinavian so I’m taking notes interesting that Chew in their [ __ ] spit it out I can’t

believe it made it to America though yeah oh yeah it’s huge now all the Frat guys are doing for the last 2 three

years it’s been huge right yeah I tried I could get so nasty that that is kind of

[ __ ] disgusting it’s like Norton after a visit Highway B out the window I was like oh

in that one and the best is when I reverse the tape it goes

in oh man what what does that IV go for 250 around it’s so expensive yeah but I

just want to K it’s like it’s worth it what is your health worth when you’re trying to do a [ __ ] performance I want to I want to give a good show yeah

sure but you do feel like the elite leaving the place though your whole body is prop up you’re ready to conquer the

world you’re full of vitamins you don’t really give a [ __ ] I know I for sure wouldn’t they come to you yeah yeah

that’s even better I want to try it they’re nice they come to your we’ve been doing the seos the who seos oh yeah

we’ve been eating sea moss it’s this thing that was on Shark Tank and uh this this trainer I know does it it’s it’s

like it’s actually not bad it flavored seamoss where it takes like a month and a half two months to get it cuz they

harvest it and they put like I have El Elderberry is the flavor I like but it’s

really good and the health benefits are supposed to be pretty intense D wait save that I want to remember yeah true

sea superfood yeah and you it’s like a vitamin or what do you do kind of you take like a spoonful two spoonfuls I

take one in water or what no it just SPO out of the jar is it like a honey texture jelly a jelly it’s kind of like

a jell different like flavors weird but I think there’s no sugar in it they like however they flavored it’s not sugar

wasn’t it like an MMA guy who put you on that yeah yeah he’s one of the I I I’ve taken Jiu-Jitsu for a while he’s one of

the guys at the one of the trainers at the gym oh dude I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this in the pots stop me if I had but there’s this app called Yuka yuk

have I told you this yeah oh dude it’s you you just uh you scan stuff in the grocery store the barcode it tells you

if it’s got like hazardous oh cancer sh yeah like uh [ __ ] what are they called

like uh it it’ll be like ranked zero to 100 so it’ll be like you know you want

70 and up but some [ __ ] it’s amazing some stuff preservatives and additives and stuff oh yeah some harmful additives

you do the QR code yeah you do the uh you do the the yeah just what they scan in the grocery store so wait 70 the

higher is better yeah you want it to be like 90 get like a like a Greek yogurt no sugar it’s like it’ll be like 94 but

then you some milks you think are good it’s just all all [ __ ] wow even if the ones that are low sugar It’s like

got it’ll be like 42 and I’m like oh [ __ ] I drink this every day you know can you check like can you say I want to

look for things with like I want no sugar or I want to know this or I want to know that and have it narrow that stuff down or does it just give you one

thing I think it can give you alts I think I can give you but yeah you got to pay for it I just do the free one but it

dude I I found you just find stuff that you’re like this is better for you it’s crazy yeah I’m trying to like get like

less sugar and stuff I’m [ __ ] fat now or fatter because of the food like she she can eat whatever she wants and not

but wait on and I can’t so I’m just a [ __ ] granola eating pig Comics have come a long way in the 80s was like you

want to get paid in Coke or cash like have you tried Yuka you can the barcode

yeah but I’ve taken my risks though I mean like you know what I mean like fact that I’m still here uh and not withering away it’s amazing I can put weight on

considering the things I’ve done sexually you know it should be a this should be a blessing I guess right right

I just want to eat healthy cuz I don’t want to stop drinking alcohol same same right do you drink before you go on like

I could never get drunk before no not especially not in the city but like on the road I’ll if it’s a late show I’ll have a drink and then maybe you know

it’s kind of like a reward like afterwards you know have you ever felt like uh cuz I’ve seen we’ve all seen

videos of guys who drank to have you ever like had a couple and go like oh [ __ ] I I can’t perform totally you have

right and that’s why I don’t do it anymore cuz it’s totally [ __ ] sh and you’re slower you got to be sharp once you you think the booze will help you

it’ll make you like Doug Stan hope and you’re you know waxing poetic up there and you’re romantic with the the scotch

but it’s all [ __ ] yeah all of a sudden to you like you [ __ ] don’t care yeah exactly I’ve definitely felt like

slower I slow down you do right yeah but how about Coke or something wouldn’t Coke make you faster I’ve done it on

Aderall before and boy I was on fire I was zipping were you great yeah I was Killer Comics used to do cocaine oh yeah

oh like you think Bernie Mack did cocaine I don’t know will Robin did a

lot of coke yeah oh oh yeah no that’s

not the line by the way anyone that doubts that’s a woman that’s the

reaction that’s the reaction to a fart that’s a clip that was perfect send that

to JD van wow damn okay well we did 20 minutes

on ball licking but that toot that was over the line absolutely what do you eat that you’re always farting like that I

don’t know I’d like to have it question we went to a diner today had

a I had a salad and a waffle I don’t want to know well your body is very uh it’s getting rid of the

toxin great thing here here farting like that is very healthy do you guys other than that do you have any peeves

interesting things WR one down actually we do this thing called peeves peeves oh sure sure yeah yeah yeah I got one what

I don’t like okay you start well you you don’t I don’t know why I’m dictating you how your podcast go [ __ ] me sorry go

ahead you have a drink you peeve is vaginas on a woman no uh I like uh I had this at a airport we had that what was

that gender strike what was that thing called crowd strike crri you saw that where all the it went down all the

like this week this week on Friday I flew that day it was not a fun day brutal nework was insane that’s what I

flew into dude I landed everyone I couldn’t get out cuz the whole walkway was just packed with people yes it was

insane I was thank God I landed yeah I know well I took off on the day of and it my all my flights got canceled the

connection got canceled so I’m at the the United counter like what do I do I got to make this flight by five and

they’re and I was like I missed my connection already and then the lady does the typing you know behind the computer the type and then she goes oh

oh you’re going to miss your connection I’m like yeah yeah I just told you that I hate when they were you tell them your problem and then they realize it and

they repeat your problem shows you that they’re not listening yes did you miss the gig no I made it but I flew to

Minneapolis and drove four hours running a car so I made it an hour late we had to push the show back but it worked out

wow you with anyone you do it solo I was solo I had an opener who who was living there where where was the gig uh sou

Falls what time are you supposed to I’m fascinated with you two because you both fly day of gig I can’t do it tomorrow

I’m leaving for San Diego my gig is Thursday cuz I take a d mean I can’t what time that’s also a nice city to

kill a night true I guess San Diego is nice yeah it’s a ComiCon he’s not living it up at night you’re not going out and

having a sure I am come on I have a cappuccino never Party City with Jim no

it’s not no but like even during the day he can kill the day at the beach it’s like a nice I mean look okay never mind

Lolly gagging with my [ __ ] blubber hanging over when Jim made it he made his way of being to be like slow Steak

House elegant gently man I like that gentleman yeah that’s how that’s exactly

very gently Manish okay gentleman is yeah they’re all like who’s that makeawish in the booth over there eating

alone all black wait the um but on the road you guys what time was your flight supposed to be for like an an 8 o’clock

gig what time was your original flight it was a 7 o’clock gig in a theater and it was a 8:00 a.m. flight connecting in

Chicago then that flight there’s a layover then I landed at 250 oh that’s

reasonable okay that a brutal [ __ ] it was a brutal day day though to wake up at what like 600 and you at night that’s

not fun and you drove four hours on o That’s yeah and we had to push the show to 9 instead of seven cuz I was late but

we had to contact the whole audience it was a bit and when you guys do comedy as a comedian do you sometimes go to the

places that are just [ __ ] where you have to stay in a motel where there’s no nice hotels everyone’s got a decent hotel now

but I’ve been with him on the road and they don’t have decent hotels I mean I’m talking like no no I don’t even mean marott I

mean like not even that like a real Motel Motel yeah I me we’ve all done it like a bikers I didn’t find that fun

that was one place and that was in New Hampshire she’s very spoiled oh I can’t stay here there’s not there’s not towels

bathroom to wash your hands with yeah it’s very that was a shock and that’s why I don’t go with him on the road anymore oh smart you went with the

shitty yeah I’m like w wow look at bed bugs stays home and now I’m in a

Ritz genius no it’s uh I I try to land early but yeah dude

the power outages is like what the [ __ ] we don’t know what’s going to happen I’m doing a gig with nees Chris D and Jordan

Jensen and she texted me she’s like I’m landing at 3:00 I go I wouldn’t do that and she’s like really so now she’s

landing at like 8:00 a.m. I’m like we didn’t have to over correct that much you know no I go in the night before I

because I I hate to St I think in 34 years maybe I’ve missed one or two G like I don’t ever Miss gigs but I’m so

paranoid about it that I fly in the day before because I don’t like to stress I like to drive overnight to the next gig

like you know you got the way you like to do things a way that makes it [ __ ] uh tolerable I hear you yeah stresses

you out I get that look missing gigs sucks all of us I just hate losing a day I don’t want to lose a day of my life

alone you’re right you’re right but you can’t I can’t sleep the night before like I’m always wide awake he was just

with me to Norway for a funeral oh wow and in that moment I realized that

although he’s my husband in this moment coming with me too my dear grandpaa died

my grandfather and he came to my funeral and I told myself in that moment that this is my real husband and this is my

real family although he’s not in my family because he came with me to the funeral and we was on the plane and it

had a ter terrible turbulence I’ll never fly again who no I’m telling you I’m not

going to fly for it’s get dicey though I’m not going to fly for another year and I mean it and I’m not airplane

scared at all but that turbulence was enough to put me in a graft where I don’t think I’m this was one of those

ones where it actually lifted up and SL it was like you plummeted and the flight

attendant fell screaming I I realized I didn’t know I was screaming because I I

like I hear screaming because I was holding the seat going I didn’t realize I was doing that

I asked the flight attendant was this bad and she’s like it’s the worst turbulence I’ve had in 40 years wow 40

years she said she’s never hit it yeah for 10 seconds it was like I thought I was going to die I always think of gym cuz the worst Flight Of My Life probably

was flying to Rochester and I saw you the night before and you go oh you flying there I said yeah goes o I hate

that that flight I always drive and I’m on with Gary Veer and for whatever reason it’s like first off we were

supposed to sit together but some woman just like we booked together but some woman was like no that’s my seat and I was like it’s a 40-minute flight who

gives sh so so you know we hated this woman we’re like whatever 40 minutes as we’re Landing like it’s just shaking so

it’s to windy to land so the guy just [ __ ] Top Guns it and just belts back up and we’re like is this guy going to

like German wings US is this like a [ __ ] depressed pilot so we’re looking and the woman behind us is just

like and we’re just looking at her like [ __ ] this woman we hate her we’re like it’s the only joy we’re getting She’s

suffering at least if you crash you know she’s dead but we’re looking at each other like after that we’re just like what the

[ __ ] I don’t know and then like after 10 minutes he goes sorry I I couldn’t land in that wind I had to I had to make

something happen we like make something happen what the [ __ ] that would scare the [ __ ] out of me but the guy picking

us up goes goes oh my God some plane just top gunned it I was like that was us whoa yeah it’s very from Comedy the

Carlson well Jim’s a bottom gun somebody died in turbulence like a month

ago did you see that it was in the news they probably either had a heart attack I’m going guess was a heart attack or they bang their head the the news sites

always put that up but it’s it’s never the turbulence unless they they broke it was very scary and it’s going to take me

a while before that was scary that was legit scary yeah like that was a plummet it is getting there’s certain yeah you

see it on the news too the guy ended up in the overhead oh yeah his little feet hanging out was [ __ ] hilarious

Singapore that was it theing from from London to Singapore

hit severe turbulence a man in his 7s like aing funeral one passenger says

anyone not wearing a seat belt was launched immediately including the cabin crew oh my god that’s way worse than we

hit really yeah did or it was long did your things scattered everywhere but

people flew up to the ceiling whoa yeah it was bad and it was such a r across your feeling that you can’t control

yourself I couldn’t control myself as a human because of the gravity so I knew that the pilots were startled course

they were startled and he doesn’t think they were scared at all they weren’t I think the pilots of that Norwegian

flight were extremely scared they weren you want to fly with a pilot who hits turul of course they were cuz your body

is out of gravity control you wouldn’t be scared people want roller coasters and Scar I’m just saying they were

scared Jim all right I don’t believe it damn so Jim do you have a peeve you had one earlier yes when my wife insists on

the emotions of Pilots um do I have a

peeve what’s a peeve a pet peeve things bother you um oh we’re putting you on the spot

no no it’s it’s but we all have them I’m trying to think of one I I got one if you can’t think of this happened last

week I I was in Austin I to go to Nashville for a night and I did those guys busting with the boys podcast great

guys they end up saying you want to go to the uh we’re going to a postmalone show do you want to go I go [ __ ] it I

got a night to kill go to the show I run into doosa I run into Shane Gillis A

bunch of people are chilling there it turns into you know how it is with it’s bad enough with just doosa but Shane Gillis too trying to get it’s like a

video game trying not to get blackout drunk like trying to walk around them the peeve is being 40 plus and being

like do a shot yeah that’s that’s a [ __ ] beef and then it leads into my

wreck which is the [ __ ] Irish exit a I love an Irish exit Irish exit and guess what they’re so [ __ ] up no one

notices no one’s offended when you Irish exit when they’re blackout alcoholics H over the next day they’re they’re not

going to be like you [ __ ] [ __ ] they’re worried about their own [ __ ] puking Irish exit has something to do with being

drunk yes cuz they drink a lot yeah that you slip out and no one notices you’re

drunk I was with Taylor and Will from the bus the busing with the boys podcast and they were all like let’s like that

we knew we were running into Shane already so they know shanee they know doosa and they’re like let’s all make a

pack not the drink and I was like I’m in dude we’ll be good I was already hung over from Kill Tony the night before was

like I’m down let’s not Taylor leaves he comes back we’re both holding Bud Lights I’m like they’re cold I don’t know we

already bailed but I only did a couple I I was like I got out of there what was the show post Malone how was it it was

awesome he he brought out all these other guests it was like Blake Shelton it was like all he brought out it was a

small show for Bud Light put together and then uh he did a song with Aussie which was great yeah yeah yeah yeah and

then he did he did he brought out people I didn’t know but some woman and they did like Johnny Cash Jackson together duet it was killer they did really good

show comedy and music is really melding it’s like jelly rolls at a show or post Malone they all do kill Tony uh what’s

it Gary Clark Jr is always at the mothership it’s it’s coming together I never had musicians at my shows i’ I’ve

had none of those great storiesi yeah I am yeah that’s that that

that is true but he’s never been at one of my shows but I am I am friend I don’t I don’t believe that I saw you on a [ __ ] Jean Simmons roast oh I forgot

about that you you better story than any of us this to Jim all the time whenever he feels down I’m like Jim you live the [ __ ] life yeah you’ve been around all

these people you’re a [ __ ] Legend why would you even look at yourself this way and you should love it here’s my one

that you it here’s my one my one big uh celebrity in the uh room story iced tea

was at a show that I completely bombed at who it was that [ __ ] in Vegas it

was the uh remember that the Jeff beer show did you guys ever do beer show it was a crazy show it brought in all these

celebrities and interesting people people and it would be like a sword

swallower backing into it all right all right too easy um but like jugglers and

crazy and Bobby Kelly went on and [ __ ] killed and I went on and [ __ ] NOS

over what a bad set did you see ICF right front row

oh yeah that was rough damn that was rough were you around when Comics used to open up for rock

acts they still do but not as much but yeah no not necessarily uh like you know

Jim Florentine does Brewer does um but yeah yeah I’m dreon used to open for

Sinatra yeah like that type stuff and John Panet used to open for Sinatra yeah John wow what a combo is my husband the

oldest in the room definitely yes that would be my pet peeve Matthew you are 45

I mean I’m close to that yeah she never understands how people are you protecting your age I am people are agist someone asked me the other day

they’re like how old are you I was like 43 I’ve seen older people hate mentioning their age and she I tell her

like people don’t like that and she’s like oh okay and then then she’ll be like this somebody else there was this female comic one time and she was 40 and

I thought she looked so Lolita I thought she was like 25 and I asked her how old are you and

she’s like I’m 40 and I’m like oh my God you’re 40 and then there’s a comic that’s going to start before her and I’m

like she’s 40 can you believe it and he goes oh my God she’s 40 yeah and they

were like staying with her and they had no idea how old she was real I had Broke Girl Code because I’m not supposed to

say that and I should know girl code better than that right right damn n

Glazer but you are 40 so suck it up yeah I know why you’re you’re worried about people being agis but Matt is a great

photographer hire Matt at salacuse on Instagram slide and he’s so good and I I

know that’s why you’re worried cuz it’s like young people coming into the yeah that’s great you’ve done video stuff with us

oh I wish it was true yeah yeah Matt did that you did that one

right the Sam yeah yeah that was maybe you could do I need I need I don’t have any pictures for my tour CU again I got

fat so I don’t want to do pictures new head shot I do need a new head shot yeah do it together two you yeah we need

something together but I also need a solo one for my gigs yeah we can make you

pregnant then can’t get pregnant but yeah we should do something

else there we go we got a gig yeah that’s very good he’s a great videographer as well yeah well that’s

we’re on the fence on that no no he’s great he’s shot a lot of ton of my stuff too yeah same here no you definitely use

him yeah we just uh we got to get somebody regular it’s a hard to find a reg a a person a consistent person

that’s what we haven’t podcasted in a few we had a woman who used to shoot everything we did and now we’re just kind of re uh shuffling through people

she went back to school and so like we try she had a life change but it’s not that easy once you’re settle with someone to then see with someone new

yeah it’s difficult cuz you meet people and you’re like nah they’re not right that person is we Shu through like six people yeah you’re in a transitional

period y for sure yeah the second they walk in she’s like my balls bothering you and they’re like we

can’t if these balls could talk do you do do you do the studio in your apartment no we do we’ve done here we’ve

done um not in your room but we’ve done great producer over here I know he did one episode for us it was like I think

the last one we shot actually set up something um but no in the apartment is too difficult because we don’t have the

room and the soundproofing and stuff that you need for great audio um it would just be putting it up and taking

it down would suck so we got to find like a regular place and somebody who can get us guests and you know it’s a

whole thing yeah it’s it’s a job it’s a [ __ ] job it’s a lot of work how many do you guys tape a day two usually two

yeah one or two but like you know a little buz from that do you ever Miss weeks or no yeah yeah that’s why we do

that’s do you ever not release on a week no we have to release consistency is key sadly you got to stay one of us will be

gone for a week and we just so that’s why we we double up some days yeah going to Europe I going to Australia you know

things happen when’s Australia no you’re I’m saying you’re going I’m not going to Australia I went through in November oh

there you go how long I dude I did the shortest all SE Tour Ever I did like eight days or something ah okay how was

it awesome but I just was like I was on the road so hard last year I was like let me just [ __ ] I’ll get like a day

off here I had like two I think I had a day off in Melbourne and a day off and one other one maybe I like a nice day I

like a trip of leisure I do a gentleman’s cool I mean like I I

Australia is incredible did you see the Bon Scott thing in Melbourne uh they they have a Bon Scott mural and it just

looks nothing like Bon Scott like it’s really not good artwork Australia like that remember that Lucille Ball uh thing

pull up that Lucille Ball uh the worst [ __ ] statue they made of her ever she

was a tough interview by the way I I never met her I saw her on Carson and she would come in and go well you know

and and like all you saying she’s a [ __ ] or no not a [ __ ] but her jokes would B look at that awful one oh wow

looks like uh my God Andy Griffith or whatever holy [ __ ] it does look like Andy Griffith look like someone did it

on math she was an attractive woman though that’s [ __ ] she was very [ __ ] she looks like Zer from Planet

of the Apes oh yeah I could see that yeah that’s not good that’s not a good

lucil ball more like Bon Scott she really does holy [ __ ] decent bulge

on him though they gave him that bon no but in real life B had a statue me

what I didn’t he what did my awkward wife say so manly um yeah they really did Bon

Scott’s bulge was legit okay watch a whole lot of Rosie when you get time they did a live version of it when when

did he pass no that was B Jones who had the no it was Bon Scott yes he did to but B Bon Scott I know Jones was a great

musician but even his words wouldn’t lure me into that bulge really been dead

since 1980 he’s alive Al yeah yeah he’s 80 something yeah he was great he was he

got a lot of ladies oh my godon yes um yeah he had a [ __ ] Bon

Scott had a a legit bold you got Bruce Dickinson we’re talking about this on Jim and Sam recently I don’t know why it

comes up yeah it’s fun to talk about it is fun to talk about we respect it yeah uh Lisa

Anne said John Sally is the biggest she’s ever seen in her life yeah yeah I’ve heard that trit piston right yeah

not surprising though W 66 69 whatever he is giant [ __ ] F he’s a fun guy too I

think more than that more than 9 inch yeah wow more than if Lisa an said it’s the biggest she’s ever seen she’s one of the biggest porn stars in the world wow

that’s I even Danny D’s 12 Danny Danny D who’s that he’s a British porn star

skinny guy like unassuming tall skinny guy huge hog it’s insured that’s how big his hog is what does that mean how do

you insure a dick well he’s scared of breaking it so he wants to keep it in check is he a porn star yeah black guy

white guy white guy D you never heard of Danny D I don’t really watch that much porn anymore honestly I don’t know who

he is link yeah put a wig on sorry what’ you

say that was [ __ ] good he’s insured I don’t know I don’t know the details oh yeah he’s got a little little wet spot I

think I just I would never [ __ ] him I’m sorry I don’t I don’t think hot at all I don’t think he has any percent of sex

appeal for me as a young person he would never get to [ __ ] me never I would never

let him [ __ ] me you take very odd doesn’t matter how muching and B I don’t like a guy with

AIDS and I wouldn’t [ __ ] he is just not [ __ ] sexy two things you don’t like AIDS not sexy you would Johnson is what

you’re saying no I wouldn’t [ __ ] Magic Johnson oh thank you no MJ huh oh thank you

no water there you go what what is not sexy about him and what is sexy about Jim I

mean that really is what I’m wondering too I love mature man this is true like 40 plus

perfect um and Jim kind of it took me a while to learn Jim meaning when I first

met him I thought he would have an awful shriveled up penis no foreskin just like

weird I don’t know just like a really weird [ __ ] but then when I sucked you you did

actually have a nice deck so see that’s the stuff that that that’s the stuff that that’s the stuff of vows I think the more time we spent

together the more we got to learn each other because if you had a terrible [ __ ]

I don’t know if I could deal with that you didn’t say the first time I saw it the first time I suck you yeah well I sucked you the first day

I saw I know you did I know but just just the but we weren’t off slow first

thing we did was that we went to a hotel and I sucked his dick and vice

versa oh I hate that there was a champagne sip after

that after that a toast ladies and gentlemen to my [ __ ] husband and Jim really taught me to

believe in myself oh really yeah that’s one thing I’m good for maybe open with that at the vows and first time I suck

the first time I first time I first time I sucked you I realized you had a better dick

than most and this is true Jim Norton has a better [ __ ] than most it’s really

true this is true and I’ve been with huge [ __ ] really hug it’s always good

to add that Jim has been wonderful that’s

always a helpful parenthetical but you’re on far she said

you’re up there get a clip all this I’m very open about our sex and I think more people should be it’s like when you’re

like a normal wife and you’re like I’m not going talk about my sex life I’m like what a [ __ ] you’ve failed in

life I agree completely failed in life just to keep your facade up yes I sucked

his dick and vice versa and it was great you go in the the pooper how’s that work well we don’t do that much anal actually

it’s mostly mouth [ __ ] huh yeah really no but this is true I’ve done a

lot of anal in my life but it hasn’t been so much with J again you could have quit where you were head there yeah it

just it’s it’s it’s complete yeah yeah yes so I remember the

first time I did anal it really was like breaking your virginity because it really hurts at least for me the first

time John Sally and um yeah we didn’t do that much anal not

really no you’re not a lot of people probably think we do a lot of anal but it’s mostly and some things you could

just say like well we Jim being [ __ ] in mouth or or or herb sucking my dick suck dick yeah you thanks I’m a I’m I’m

a professional of sucking pis you are I mean yeah [ __ ] yeah two Champagnes in this is when the information

starts here’s the the if if you marry somebody trans never give them two Champagnes and then say so what is sex

like first time I suck your dick honey no I don’t care well it’s hard to

beat a good BJ like a great be is amazing sometimes better like why wouldn’t most people want just a [ __ ]

CU if you’re in a gay relationship right like I considered trans if you’re [ __ ] someone who’s trans you’re in a gay relationship I look at it that way

if you [ __ ] them in the ass why wouldn’t you just be fine with a little dick sucking cuz then you don’t have to deal

with the mess cleaning the not eating you can just get your [ __ ] sucked and

it feels just as good yeah there’s nothing worse you want to get you want to come and you also want some beef stroking off there you

go no but I think we both enjoy being [ __ ] every now and then I can’t take

being [ __ ] I can’t take being [ __ ] every now and no I cannot I cannot what about a pinky or something oh delightful

sure more welcome a hint is fine but yeah a hint of a pink I’ve seen the pegging videos I’m like that looks like

that looks rough which ones the pegging videos I could never take that my ex-girlfriend was a Dominatrix and she

tried to she was probably sexually more hardcore than I am I’m very vanilla very dirty yeah she’s very very normal my ex

was very very dirty and she tried to fight me with a strap on and I got like that much in and I’m like I got a [ __ ] and I ran to the bathroom and she’s

knocking on the door you okay and I’m like yeah I just can’t I was ashamed I wanted to do it but I just couldn’t my

body would body doesn’t take it well we have friends who need to get pegged to

really you know every single man that I’ve been with every single male has

wanted to get [ __ ] or suck my dick wait but I want to know who the guy who gets pegged is I’ll tell you off off air

do I know him oh yeah really but this is true like every single guy that I’ve been with and I’ve been with a few guys

not that many but they all pretend like they want oh your ass and your sexy

booty but it’s all they all want to suck my they all want to get [ __ ] they all show their ass this is true have you

ever had somebody show their ass on video and you didn’t like it yes I don’t like hairy asses sorry it’s like a

manhole and I don’t like that it’s awful now have you banged some ladies I’ve

never touched a vagina whoa Sam either I’ve never and I’ve got a hairy [ __ ] so

I’m out do you really oh yeah not horrible but yeah I’ve got some hair I’m 27 now so I’m at like um uh change in

life where it’s like I’ve tried the penis gotten pretty used to the [ __ ] and the balls I would like to watch you

[ __ ] maybe a vagina could be in place but it would I don’t know that would suck though if she really liked it yeah

i’ be on the outs by yeah they’re very nice yeah pussy’s awesome dude yeah is

nice yeah sure maybe I would just be like robotically [ __ ] the [ __ ] it feels great does feel good after leaving

JY also I think your biology kicks in where you’re like exactly because I was born a male death I

come yeah I’ll be like wow that looks really great get out of here you [ __ ] oh

sorry wo well this is uh we got to get some more champagne in here yeah I really want to know who get tell me

after who I’ll pretend I didn’t know it Wasa Bruno

did just put it in we plug the podcast and say we’re going to be on the road uh

yeah where you going I got um by the time this air is allive already gone for this weekend so I just got a bunch of uh

I’m doing uh Montana for the first time Vegas Tampa I got a gig in New Jersey I

got Stroudsburg Pennsylvania and um I got uh Chicago in uh December hell yeah

and then uh the podcast is called sword fight but we have to do an episode we haven’t done an episode in probably four

weeks because again her there was a death in her family and she was away and then we were away together so um and we

put videos up on Nikki and Jim NYC on YouTube which is just this death has made us

closer Family Value like I’m much closer to Jim now after he attended I’m going

to listen dude I I’m I’m pumped to listen to this and also go see Jim on the road one of the best and also you

know that but also uh the new hour so [ __ ] thank you so so funny yeah I want to shoot it uh within the next four

months I want to get shot at the V hell yeah thank you guys great stuff uh anything Nick you want us just plug the

Pod or anything sword five uh Jim Norton on Instagram um and Miss Nicki Norton on

Instagram I met you backstage at was it Joe’s Club I think so yeah maybe I think

a Joe’s Club when b b for Birds Festival yes I first met you yes on pleasure to be here and thank you for having me

thanks for coming in this is a great time Sam o oh yeah I’m oh sorry I don’t

know when this comes up 11 August 11th so we’ll be in Anaheim California ,000

Oaks Reading PA Red Bank guad laara going to Mexico City yeah Colorado

Springs Fort Collins St Louis Atlanta Vancouver Orlando Fort Lauderdale Portland and London Ontario and Toronto

to name a few what do you got there Harry

Baltimore August 15th through 17th and I got New Brunswick I’m doing Stress Factory this 22nd through the

24th then uh yeah NRA Falls Ontario n Falls Ontario and then I’m off to Europe

London Belfast Dublin Paris Amsterdam we added a show there so uh Copenhagen Oslo

and Stockholm I will be there yeah sam.com watch the special on Amazon

you’ve changed samarel and uh Bodega cat get the whiskey we’re sold out should be

back by hopefully we’re back in the next couple days that’s great back it’s cooking baby cat all right thanks guys

thank you very much for having us great episode great stuff Sunday’s the day for my next Bender a bit of P wre you know

the beard Jew close I’ve had a little too much Bourbon and Norman’s talking

[ __ ] about the [ __ ] po and I get down in the same

way up on the roof like a cop’s coming and naked Samuel is feeling

dangerous I’m out to lunch here in New Orleans this woman doesn’t look like I

remember her and I get down in the same

way we might be true